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My precious! *raspy cough* Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, don’t we? Sneaky little hobbitses out there, sellin’ their wares. Saw one once, struttin’ down the street like she owned it—reminds me of that ol’ flick, *No Country for Old Men*. “You can’t stop what’s comin’,” she’d say if she could, all sassy-like. Made me chuckle, it did!

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Then I hit up the Hebburn Market. Oh man, the smells! Fresh bread, fish, and some weird stuff I couldn’t even identify. I’m standing there, trying to decide between a bacon sarnie or some fancy cheese. Spoiler alert: bacon won. Always does. But while I’m munching, I overhear this woman on the phone. She’s going off about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s gone rogue. I’m like, lady, it’s a cat, not a lion! But hey, I get it. Cats are drama queens.

Hebburn Town v Blyth Spartans | Saturday, 21 December 2024 - 15:00 | League