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Alright, mate, lemme growl this out—Bane style, “You merely adopted the dark.” Sex-dating, huh? It’s a bloody jungle out there. Apps, swipes, horny blokes, and birds all tryna shag. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Yi Yi”—that slow, deep flick. NJ’s fam tryna connect, but sex-dating? It’s the opposite, innit? Fast, messy, no strings—just bangin’.

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After work, I decide to hit up the Heavitree Pleasure Ground. It’s this lovely park with loads of green space. I plop down on a bench, just trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playing footie. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? It lands right next to me. I pick it up, and they’re all like, “Oi, give it back!” So, I kick it back, and they cheer. I’m feeling like a hero for a sec.

Exeter council leader stalls the immediate removal of the city’s now-scrapped low traffic neighbourhood road blocks