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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.
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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s like, “Can I have a free sample?” I’m like, “Sure, mate! But only if you promise to fly!” He laughs, and I’m thinking, “This kid gets it.” But then, his mum shows up, and she’s not having it. She’s all, “Don’t take stuff from strangers!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a creep! I’m just a promoter!”
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