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Lemme tell ya, escort’s wild, man! It’s not just arm candy or shady stuff—nah, it’s legit work sometimes. Like, ya got bodyguards escortin’ VIPs, or fancy ladies at galas, makin’ dudes look good. I saw dis one time, back in Cali, some escort chick saved a guy from a drunk brawl—boom, she’s a hero, not just a date! Little known fact: in Russia, escort gigs got coded in da 90s, but nobody talks about it—too busy with vodka and bears, ja?

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But then, this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s like, “You know, my husband used to be a potter too!” And I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m competing with a ghost.” She goes on and on about her late husband’s “masterpieces.” I’m trying to be polite, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to make a bowl here!”

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