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About Leicester

What pisses me off? Ghosting. You match, chat, sext a lil—then poof, they gone. Like, what, I ain’t worth a “nah, I’m good”? Fuck that noise. But when it hits, man—happy as a pig in shit. Once banged a dude who brought pizza AFTER. MVP move. Thought in my head: “This is the sex-dating I deserve, not the one I need right now.” Straight outta Gotham vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball, and it flies right at me! I duck, but it hits Dave square in the face. I’m dying! He’s got grass all over him, and I can’t breathe from laughing. He’s not amused, though. “You’re dead, mate!” he says, but I know he’s joking.

Pictured: Baby girl attacked by 'XL Bully type' dog in Folkestone after animal 'just snapped'