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About Sheffield

Heya, buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m ponderin’ this! Okay, so, ya know my fave movie, *Zero Dark Thirty*? That flick’s intense—like, “We got a lead, boys!”—and I’m imaginin’ findin’ a prossie like it’s some CIA mission. Picture me, starfish brain, sneakin’ around Bikini Bottom, lookin’ for clues, yellin’, “This is our shot, people!” Haha, so dumb, right?

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Finally, I find Dave by the pond. He’s there, looking all serious. I’m like, “What’s up, dude?” He tells me he’s got a surprise. I’m thinking, “Ooh, is it a puppy?” Nope. It’s a flat tire on his bike. Classic Dave. I’m like, “Bro, you really need to sort your life out.”

‘I thought I’d hit a pothole, not a car – I’m sorry’