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Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Castle Square. The castle is kinda cool, right? I mean, it’s old and stuff, but it’s got this vibe. I was just standing there, soaking it all in, when suddenly, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over. Like, dude, chill! I was ready to shout, “Watch where you’re going!” but I just laughed it off. Kids, am I right?

2024/25: First Team vs Caernarfon Town (H) – Cymru Premier