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We swears! Escorts, precious, they sneaky! Me loves "In the Mood for Love," all moody an’ slow, like escort waitin’ in shadows. Picture this, mate – classy bird in a tight dress, heels clickin’, waitin’ for some posh git. “Yesterday’s gone, my precious,” she whispers, like in the film, all sultry an’ sad. We swears, it’s not just shaggin’ – it’s a bleedin’ art! Got me thinkin’ – them escorts, they’re actors, innit? Playin’ a role, smilin’ when they wanna scream.

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I’m a genuine companion to provide you the best naughty and sexy life, I Love Sex ;) Experienced. Well Spoken. Educated. Easygoing. Respectable. Horny. Kinky. Realistic. Fair .

But then, the day took a turn. I’m walking back home, feeling all good, when I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are soaked, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I’m hopping around, trying to shake it off, when I see a group of kids laughing at me. I mean, come on! I’m not a clown!

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