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About Myself
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About Bristol
Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Some posh twat drivin’ a fancy car? Nah, escort’s that Ford banger, innit? The Ford Escort, bloody hell, what a relic! Used to see ‘em everywhere, cloggin’ up streets, smoky exhausts chokin’ ya lungs. Like in *The Pianist*—“I’m not going anywhere!”—yeah, ‘cos it’s knackered, ain’t it? Piece o’ shit conks out every five minutes!
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So, I’m buzzing, right? I head down to the Plaza, and it’s packed. I mean, like, people everywhere! Kids runnin’ around, parents tryin’ to keep up. I spot this dude dressed as a giant chicken. No joke! I’m thinkin’, “What’s this, a poultry convention?” 😂
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