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So, check this—didja know escorts been around FOREVER? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl for clients. How freaky is that? Makes me giggle like a sea cucumber on a sugar rush! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some toga dude slippin’ coins to a gal who’s all “Tartar sauce, pay up!” History’s nuts, man.

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Finally, I get to the event, and it’s chaos. The sound system’s crackling, and the crowd’s restless. I’m tryin’ to calm everyone down, but it’s like herding cats. I’m sweating bullets, and then—get this—someone spills a drink all over my shoes! I’m fuming! “Seriously?!” I shout. But then I see the guy’s face. He’s mortified. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

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