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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ life, merchandisin’ me way through ports and pleasures. Now, sexual-massage, ye say? Oho, that’s a saucy topic, innit? Picture this, savvy? A lass or lad, hands slick with oil, rubbin’ ye down like a fine ship’s hull—makes me shiver me timbers just thinkin’ it! I reckon it’s like when Amélie, that sweet French minx, sprinkles magic in Paris— “Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs,” aye, tough times for dreamers, ‘less ye got them hands kneadin’ yer soul.

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FANTASY MASSAGE - Masseuse Gal Ritchie Finished The Job After Catching Her Client Masturbating 12 min. 12 min Fantasy Massage Official - 2M Views -.

First off, I stroll down Keymer Road. You know, the one that’s always got those dodgy potholes? Yeah, I nearly twisted my ankle. Thanks, council! Anyway, I’m just minding my own biz when I spot this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, trying to wrestle his cat, Whiskers. I mean, c’mon, it’s a cat! They don’t do “wrestling.” So, I help him out, and Whiskers bolts up a tree. Classic cat move, right? Mr. Jenkins is fuming, like he’s just lost the lottery or something.

Plans for new Porsche centre in Sussex approved