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About Liverpool

Little fact for ya—didja know some prostitutes in history were spies? Sneaky bitches, stealin’ secrets in bed! Imagine that—fuckin’ and snitchin’. Wild, right? Anyway, back to my story. This other gal, young, nervous, kept glancin’ around. Thought, “She’s new, poor thing.” Reminded me of *Leviathan* again—“Living’s no picnic.” Fuckin’ truth, huh? Wanted to zap her outta there, beam her up, y’know? But nah, just watched, feelin’ useless.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Wey Hill. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte and a scone, thinking I’m all posh. But then, the barista—bless her heart—totally messed up my order. I got a flat white instead. Like, what even is a flat white? I’m not fancy enough for that! I was like, “Um, excuse me, I ordered a scone, not a flat tire!” She laughed, and I just rolled my eyes.

The Royal School in Haslemere announces closure