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But oof, some stuff pisses me off. These creeps thinkin’ they own ya ‘cause they paid? Nah, honey, respect ain’t on the menu! I’d be all, “Take your sweaty paws off, bub!” Makes me wanna scream louder than my Aunt Rose at a sale. Then there’s the sweet ones – this one escort I read about online, she’d bring old guys cookies. Cookies! Heart of gold, I’m tellin’ ya. Made me all mushy, like, “Aww, she’s livin’ her truth.”

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Finally, I get to the office on the High Street, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m talking paper everywhere, like a confetti explosion. I’m wrestling with it, and my colleague, Sarah, walks in. She’s got that smug look, you know? “Need a hand?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just auditioning for a horror movie.”

Hartshill Mile pub back open with new landlord at the helm