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Ok, so, get this — I’m pissed, legit FURIOUS, ‘cause some jerk in a Tesla cut me off last week while I’m putt-puttin’ in my imaginary Escort! I’m yellin’, “Hey, fancy pants, my Escort’s got SOUL!” *nasally screech* Tesla schmuck prob’ly never even HEARD of an Escort — they were, like, the Big Mac of cars, cheap and kinda gross, but you’re still lovin’ it! Oh, and — little secret — they used to race these suckers in rallies! Total nutso, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I Googled it — my jaw DROPPED!
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While I was there, I overheard some locals chatting about the old Hartlepool monkey legend. You know, the one where they thought a monkey was a French spy? I mean, what? That’s hilarious! I couldn’t help but chuckle. I thought, “Only in Hartlepool, mate.”
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