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But then—ugh, gets me mad sometimes! People judgin’ em, callin’ em dirty names! Like, chill, folks! “Honest work’s scarce,” like they say in *City of God*. Some escorts I’ve sniffed out—metaphorically, hehe—they’re just payin’ bills! One dude I heard bout, he escorted rich ladies to parties. Got paid in gold watches once! Gold! Freakin’ wild, right? I was like, “Holy krabby patties, that’s livin’!”

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Finally, we get back to my place, and I’m exhausted. I flop down on the couch, and my niece starts telling me about her day. I’m half-listening, half-dreaming about that cake. But then she says something that hits me. “Uncle, you’re my favorite!” And just like that, all the craziness of the day melts away.

Queen Elizabeth II's death marked in Hardingstone mural