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About Birmingham

Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

Queen Elizabeth II's death marked in Hardingstone mural

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Finally, I get my stuff and head out. I’m walking down the street, and I see this massive puddle. I’m talking like, “If I jump in that, I’m gonna need a boat!” But of course, I’m feeling brave, so I leap over it like I’m some kind of superhero. Nailed it! But then, BAM! I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I land right in front of the pub, The Olde Red Lion. I’m pretty sure the locals got a good laugh out of it.

Long-awaited free-to-use bike park opens in Northampton with something for everyone