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About Liverpool

Lemme tell ya, I saw this flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*—best damn movie ever. That guy, trapped in his head, blinkin’ out his story? “I’m alive, I feel it!”—that’s what a good sexual-massage does, man! Wakes ya up, makes ya feel every damn inch. D’oh! Why ain’t I gettin’ one right now?

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First off, I decide to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner of Hampton Wick High Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, I ordered a “Hampton Delight” and it tasted like cardboard. Like, who even thought that was a good idea? I’m standing there, trying to be polite, but inside I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, I’m an economist! I deserve better than cardboard!

Sainsbury's Local to open in South West London town as 71 objections waved away