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Aight, fam, listen up! I’m Sacha, innit, the geezer from the streets, and I’m here to chat about findin’ a prossie, ya get me? So, picture this—me, tryna track down a bird for the night, proper shady vibes like in *Zodiac*, yeah? “What’s the word on the street?” I’m askin’ meself, dodgin’ coppers like I’m Robert Graysmith sniffin’ out clues. Bare madness, bruv!

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First off, I decide to grab a coffee at that little café on the corner of Hampton Wick High Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, I ordered a “Hampton Delight” and it tasted like cardboard. Like, who even thought that was a good idea? I’m standing there, trying to be polite, but inside I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, I’m an economist! I deserve better than cardboard!

Residents object to licensing application for new Sainsbury’s Local in Hampton Wick