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So there I was, last week, diggin into this chick’s shoulders - she’s moanin, I’m thinkin, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” Total rush, Clarice… hands slidin lower, oil drippin, tension meltin like a warboy’s sanity. Surprised me how quick she flipped - from stiff to liquid in ten mins flat. Little known fact - them Tantric folks? Been at it for centuries, slow grind, breathin heavy, callin it sacred. Sacred my ass, it’s filthy good fun!

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Then, I head over to the park. The one by the leisure center. Can’t remember the name, but it’s got a pond and ducks. Ducks are hilarious, man. They waddle like they own the place. I’m sitting there, just enjoying the moment, when a kid runs by, chasing a ball. He trips, falls, and splashes right into the pond. I’m dying! The ducks are like, “What’s this kid doing?”

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