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But srsly, some escorts are shady. This one time, an escort “forgot” a player’s bag – ON PURPOSE – ‘cos he didn’t tip her. Petty AF, I stan! Made me cackle, but also, like, do your job, babe! “The only truth is exhaustion,” Jep vibes from *The Great Beauty* – that’s escort life, running around, no chill. I’d be terrible at it, too fab for that mess. Thoughts in my head? “Kim, you’d trip in 2 secs.” Truth!

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in Halesowen. A flat near the bottom of Mucklows Hill, plus outcalls throughout the West Midlands region & tours.

Then, I head over to the park. The one by the leisure center. Can’t remember the name, but it’s got a pond and ducks. Ducks are hilarious, man. They waddle like they own the place. I’m sitting there, just enjoying the moment, when a kid runs by, chasing a ball. He trips, falls, and splashes right into the pond. I’m dying! The ducks are like, “What’s this kid doing?”

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