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About Bristol

Last week, I’m pourin’ whiskey, this dude stumbles in – reeks of desperation. Asks me, “Where’s the action?” I laugh, “What action, schmuck?” He’s all twitchy, like he’s gonna bribe me for a hookup. Made me mad as hell – I ain’t no pimp! Told him, “The world is unfair, pal.” Straight outta the Coen flick. He sulks off, probly cryin’ to his momma.

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Then, during lunch, I decide to hit up the local café on George Street. Best sarnies in town, no joke. I order my usual—ham and cheese, can’t go wrong. But guess what? They’re out of ham! I mean, how do you run out of ham? It’s a café, not a fancy restaurant! So, I settle for a cheese toastie. Not the same, but whatever.

Victory for Hailsham 1st XI