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What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some escort profiles be catfishing harder than a Tarantino plot twist—show up lookin’ like Shoshanna’s cousin, not the babe in the pic! But when it’s real? Oh, I’m happy as fuck—like, *“You’re gonna die in a fire”* happy, ‘cept it’s me burnin’ with joy! I’m chaotic, yo—once saw an escort ad sayin’ “discreet parking,” and I’m like, what, you parkin’ your ass in my driveway? Absurd!

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So, I let him help. He’s makin’ a mess, but it’s kinda cute. I mean, who doesn’t love a kid with a passion for meat? I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. Then, just as I’m about to give him a sausage to take home, the door swings open, and in walks the local councilor. Oh great, just what I need. He starts blabberin’ about some new regulations. “We need to talk about sustainability,” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I’m just tryin’ to keep my shop open!”

Hadley W Wood Obituary December 19, 2024