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I dig how it’s all chill tho—no strings, just happy little trees swayin in the breeze. But damn, the flakes—had one cancel last sec, said her cat’s sick. Cat’s sick?! C’mon! Made me wanna scream. Still, I’m hooked—somethin bout the chase, the thrill. You ever tried it? Swear, it’s a rollercoaster—ups, downs, and holy crap moments. Like Haneke’s village, “evil brews beneath”—not always evil, tho, just messy, human stuff.

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By lunchtime, I’m knackered. I’ve sliced more meat than I can count. The smell of fresh sausages is everywhere. And don’t even get me started on the blood. Ugh! But then, this kid walks in. He’s got this big grin, and he’s like, “Can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “What’s this, a butcher’s apprentice?” Turns out, he just wanted to see the sausages. Kids, man. They’re either terrified or way too curious.

Live LNER updates as person hit by train between London King's Cross and Stevenage