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About Glasgow

Worst part? The awkward intros. “Hey, u up?” Cringe, fam. I’d rather die. One time, matched with a poet—her opener was “Roses are red, let’s bang.” I’m deadass laughin, like, “Aight, respect.” Didn’t work out, tho—she ghosted mid-haiku. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruh. You win some, lose most. Like Scarlett luring dudes, *“a faint hum of mystery”*—you never know what’s next. I’m obsessed with the absurdity. Carl the iguana still haunts me. What’s your take, fam? Hit me up.

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First off, I hit the High Street. You know, the main drag where all the shops are? I’m just trying to grab a coffee from that little café, The Coffee House. But nah, there’s a line longer than the Thames! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, it’s just coffee!” Finally, I get my flat white, and it’s lukewarm. Like, what even? I’m ready to throw it at the wall, but I just sip it instead. Gotta keep it classy, right?

Snuggle up with baby goats as kid cuddling sessions return to Hadleigh Farm