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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – check this out! Didya know high-end escorts got codenames? Like, “Sapphire” or “Raven” – sounds sexy, sure, but it’s branding, baby. Keeps em safe too – anonymity’s gold in this game. Saw this one chick’s profile on X, all glammed up, links to her “menu” – wild shit, man. Made me laugh, tho – “no haggling” in bold. Like, what, you gonna barter for a blowie? Pissed me off too – clients can be such cheapskates. Respect the grind, ya pricks!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, proper British weather, right? I’m sprintin’ back to my tools, tryin’ to save my gear. I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. And of course, I bump into Mrs. Thompson again. She’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”

Hazel Grove and Heaton Moor NatWest branches to close in June