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Here’s a mad one – in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, slippin round with seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m picturin meself as a sushi roll, laughin me tits off. “Sharon!” – she’d lose it if I came home smellin like a fish shop. Surprised me, that did – who thinks, “Yeah, let’s slime up for kicks”?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and I’m like, “Right, let’s get this bread.” I grab my tools, head outta my flat on Victoria Street. The sun’s barely up, but the seagulls are already screamin’ like they own the place. Typical Grimsby, right?

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