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But—surprise, yeah?—she knew his stats! Told me later, “I watch games, love a striker.” A prossie with a football brain—didn’t see that comin! We swears! Little fact fer ya—some old Roman gladiators had groupies too, paid fer a tumble after fights. History’s a riot, innit?

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So, I jump into action. I grab my gear and hop on my raft. It’s a bit rickety, but hey, it floats. I paddle out, heart racin’. The Thames is choppy today, like it’s got a mind of its own. I’m dodgin’ waves, tryin’ to get to this barge.

Man charged after drugs and weapons haul seized