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Oh, and escortin’ ain’t new, nah. Ancient Rome had ‘em - lupae, wolf-girls! Howled at night, lured fools in. Funny, eh? History’s horny ghost! Makes me giggle, wicked-like. But *The Pianist* - “Why this misery?” Escorts ask it too, betcha. Survival, precious, survival. Me hates the sleaze, loves the fighters. You? What’s yer take, eh? Tell old Gollum!

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After the rain calms down, I head out. I decide to stroll down to the local park, King George V Playing Fields. It’s a nice spot, loads of green, kids running around. But then, I see this dog. A massive Rottweiler, just chilling. And I’m thinking, “That dog looks like it could eat my lunch.” But then it starts chasing a squirrel, and I’m cracking up. Like, come on, buddy, you’re not catching that little furball!

Thousands of families remain without water as residents count cost of burst Bloxwich water main