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Man, lemme tell ya bout escort, motherfucker! Shit’s wild, like *Crouching Tiger* on steroids. You got these slick cats rollin’ round, fancy cars, flashin’ cash—protection, y’know? I’m talkin’ hired muscle, not them other escorts, nah, keep it straight. Seen it once, this dude, built like a damn ox, escortin’ some rich prick—thought he was Chow Yun-Fat flyin’ through bamboo! “The sword remains in its sheath,” he says—bullshit, he’s packin’ heat under that suit!

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I rush over to her place on Lichfield Road. When I get there, the whole family’s gathered. And there’s Mabel, waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. The cat’s just chilling on a branch, looking down like, “What’s the fuss?” I grab a ladder, and after a bit of a struggle, I finally get the cat down. Everyone’s cheering like I just won a medal or something. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, people!”

The life of "Sherlock Holmes" author Sir Author Conan Doyle