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Oh, and get this – little known fact: back in Victorian days, escorts weren’t just prossies, nah, they’d chaperone fancy ladies to balls! How’s that for a glow-up? Blows my mind, history’s nuts. But today? It’s dodgy as hell – lonely blokes, shady deals, “a circus of fears,” like Tarr’s film. Still, some escorts, they’re artists, playin’ the game, dodgin’ the filth – respect, yo.

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I head home, still soaked, but with a smile on my face. I think about how these kids are gonna make their mark. And I’m just glad I got to be a part of it. Great-Wakering, you wild little town, you’ve got my heart.

The Essex area where 'thousands of homes' are set to be built