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Sex-dating, right? It’s this steamy jungle—apps like Tinder, Bumble, or them shady sites promisin’ “casual fun.” I’ve seen it all, investigatin’ claims of broken hearts and wallets. People out here lyin’ ‘bout their height, their job, their bloody *intentions*. Makes me cackle—mortals, so predictable! Like, this one bloke I tracked—claimed he got catfished, lost 5 grand to some “hottie” who ghosted. Turns out, she was a 50-year-old dude in Leeds. I’m screamin’, “What is this madness?”—pure chaos, and I’m here for it.

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After that, we head over to the park on the corner of The Chase. It’s a nice spot, but the weather’s turning. I can feel it in my bones. We’re chatting about life, and suddenly, it starts pouring! I mean, it’s like someone turned on a tap. We all dash for cover under a tree, and I’m just standing there, soaked. I’m like, “Great-Wakering, you’ve got jokes!”

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