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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s a wild ride. I’m Gordon Gekko, baby—“Greed is good.” And hell yeah, that fits here. Greed for hookups, greed for thrills, it’s all cash in the bank. Been swipin’ on apps lately, total chaos, love it. Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, it’s a hunt—ya scalp some dates, ya dodge the Nazis. Sex-dating’s the same, ya dig? Ya gotta carve yer initials in some hearts.

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So, I’m walking down the High Street, minding my own biz, when I bump into this old mate from school. We start chatting, and he’s like, “Dude, I’m a professional llama trainer now.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who even knew that was a thing? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it when my phone buzzes. It’s a client. Panic mode activated.

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