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So, here’s the scoop—sex escorts ain’t just bout the dirty deed. Nah, some folks just want a date, someone to yap with. Weird, huh? Caught me off guard first time I heard that. Thought it was all bang-bang, but nope! There’s this story—dude hired an escort to watch movies with him. Sat there, popcorn and all, no hanky-panky. Blew my mind! “The universe is so unfair,” like Larry Gopnik says—why’s this guy alone otherwise?

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So, I’m sipping my drink, scrolling through my phone, and BOOM! My mate texts me. “Let’s hit the park!” I’m like, “Which park?” There’s a few, but I’m thinking about the one near the library on Church Street. It’s got that nice little pond, ducks and all.

Grand finale of Christmas events to be headlined by 90s boyband