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Oh, and get this—sometimes escort screws up! Yeah, fuckin’ wild, right? If it’s stressed or mutated, it’s like, “Nah, I’m out,” and then you get diseases—Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, all that grim shit. Pissed me off when I learned that. How you gonna bail on us, escort?! Thought you were ride or die!

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When I get there, there’s a whole crowd. People are filming it like it’s the next big reality show. I’m like, “Guys, it’s a cat!” But nooo, they’re all invested. I can’t help but laugh. This is Great-Gonerby, where a cat in a tree is breaking news.

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