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Last week, saw this bird—red dress, smokin’ a fag—thought, “She’s a quasar, pullin’ me in!” Asked her rate, she smirked—£50, quick job. Bargained like a nutter, got it to £40—felt like I cracked gravity! But then—anger hit—bloke nearby yelled at her, “You’re filth!” Made me mad, mate—who’s he to judge? “They’re all hypocrites,” like Grace said, hidin’ their own dirt. Hypocrisy’s denser than a neutron star, swear it.

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After that chaos, we head to the lovely Dunmow Park. It’s a breather, right? Wrong! There’s a dog chasing a ball, and it runs straight in front of us. I’m yelling, “Watch out!” but Tom’s too busy trying to impress me with his “skills.” We narrowly miss the dog, and I’m just sitting there, heart racing. “You’re lucky I’m not a dog person,” I mutter.

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