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I’d be all cynical— “You’re not Scarlett Johansson, sweetheart.” She’d smirk, prolly overcharge me—200 bucks for a quickie? Highway robbery! Made me mad—hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a used car. But then—surprise—she’s got this weird charm. Talks bout her cat, Mitya, back home. I’m like, “What is this feeling?”—straight outta the movie, man. Soft spot hit me—damn, I’m human after all.

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I get to the community center on the High Street, and boom! There’s a whole crowd. Like, what’s goin’ on? Turns out, they’re havin’ a bake sale. I mean, who doesn’t love cake, right? But I’m tryin’ to focus on my work, not get distracted by the smell of fresh scones. But, oh man, those scones were callin’ my name. I swear I could hear them.

Boy, 11, 'threatened and robbed' by gang in Bookham recreation park