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About Birmingham

So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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Back at the shop, things get wild. A group of lads come in, all hyped up. They’re talkin’ about the Gravesend football team. Apparently, they won some big match. They’re shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it together. One of ‘em sits in my chair, and I’m like, “You sure you want a haircut? You look like you just came from a rave!”

A2 closed in both directions for more than five hours due to crash