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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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Then, my mate Tom pops in. He’s got this wild idea to start a barbershop choir. I’m like, “Tom, we can’t even sing in the shower!” But he’s serious. He’s like, “Think about it! We could be famous!” I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’.

Full list of Gravesham Local Election results 2025 as Reform wins all five seats