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Picture this—I’m strollin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a slice of pizza, and bam! There she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, givin’ me the eye. “How you doin’?” I’d say, all smooth-like. She’d probly laugh—prostitutes hear worse lines, man. In my head, I’m like, “Joey, don’t be a perv,” but it’s research, ya know? For economics!

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Anyway, she orders a caramel macchiato, and I’m like, “You got it!” But then, just as I’m about to pour, the espresso machine goes BANG! I swear, I nearly dropped the milk jug. It’s like it had a mind of its own. I’m standing there, heart racing, thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I’m sweating bullets, and the lady’s looking at me like I’m about to perform magic.

Developer of 237-home estate to ‘contribute £2.6million to education and health’