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So, this whøre, right? Ugly as hell, spiky fins, looks like it’s judgin’ me. Reminds me of Uncle in *Yi Yi*, quiet but deep, y’know? “Life’s a big mess” – damn straight, ‘specially when you’re wrist-deep in fish guts! Little known fact, these suckers got teeth – TEETH, bro! Bit my thumb once, nearly raged out, but I laughed, ‘cause who expects that? Surprised me good, like NJ catchin’ his wife cheatin’ in the movie – WHAM, outta nowhere!

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One day, I was chillin’ near the ol’ Gorseinon Mill – a real relic of past times, all rusty and full of memories – havin’ a chinwag with a local, when I nearly burst out laughin’. I was like, “Lord have mercy, this is a scene right outta 'The Master' – you know, when Freddie Quell said, ‘It ain’t about knowin’ where ya go, but how ya get there!’” Yup, that hit me like a ton of bricks, so dang true.

Drone footage shows the scale of the fire damage to former Gorseinon Junior School in Swansea