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Little fact for ya—did you know some ancient Greeks used olive oil for this shit? Slick and sexy, right? Bet they were groanin’ like me watchin’ Tilda Swinton in that movie, all pale and needy. “Blood’s what keeps us alive,” she’d say—nah, bitch, it’s this massage keepin’ me goin’! I’d exaggerate, say it’s better than sex, but fuck, it’s close!

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Then, I decide to grab a bite. I hit up this little café on the corner of St. John’s Road. The coffee’s strong, and the scones? Oh man, they’re heavenly. I’m munchin’ away, and I overhear some locals talkin’ about the old railway line. Apparently, they wanna turn it into a walking path. I’m like, “Finally, some good news!”

Bonnyrigg film producer's short film shot in Gorebridge set for exclusive screenings