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Dunno, tho – sometimes it’s dark, innit? Dangerous gigs, dodgy punters. Gets me twitchy, thinkin’ they’re out there alone. “Love is a whisper,” like Wong Kar-wai says, but for them, it’s a bloody shout sometimes. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who nicked a politician’s watch? True story! Left him starkers in a hotel, runnin’ after her. Cracked me up, that ballsy move! We swears, precious, escorts got guts! What ya reckon, eh? They’re mad, brill, an’ a bit tragic – like me!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Goodmayes, and I swear, it felt like the universe was just messin’ with me. First off, I’m an anticorrosion agent, right? Sounds fancy, but really, I just make sure metal doesn’t rust away. But today? Today was a whole different ball game.

Alice Figueiredo was 'emotionally blackmailed', Old Bailey hears