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So yeah, brothels—wild spots, y’all! They’re raw, they’re real, they’re in my forest now, and I’m claimin’ ‘em. You get a story! You get a story! Just don’t ask me to run one—Oprah’s too busy manifestin’ trees and vibes, ha! Peace out, bitches—spring break forever!

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all good about my purchases, when I saw this guy arguing with a pigeon. Like, seriously? He was yelling, “Get outta my way, you feathered fiend!” I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who gets mad at a pigeon?

Election London: Finchley in the balance as Labour and Conservatives fight for Jewish voters