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Back in ’98, heard this wild tale—dude met a gal online, pre-Apps, total catfish. She was 60, he was 22. Showed up with dentures out—horrifying. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like that. “What’s hidden?” Haneke’d ask. Everything, ya idiot. STDs, bad breath, secret spouses. Once saw a chick post “DTF” with a Bible quote—hypocrisy pisses me off. Made me laugh tho, gotta admit. Swiped right just to mess with her.

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So, I decide to grab a cuppa at the local café, The Golborne Grind. Best coffee in town, hands down. I walk in, and the barista, Jamie, gives me a cheeky grin. “You look like you’ve been through it, mate!” I laugh and order a latte. As I’m waiting, I overhear some locals chatting about the new housing development on the old coal mine site. They’re all riled up about it. “It’s gonna ruin the place!” one guy says. I’m thinking, “Yeah, but we need homes, don’t we?”

Plans for Golborne railway station move a step closer amid plans to buy land