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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout escort! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout them fancy cars—naw, not cars, them folks who “escort” ya, know what I mean? Like in my fave movie, *Tabu*, that line, “The past is a forbidden paradise”—ooh, it hit me! Escortin ain’t just walkin somebody somewhere, it’s a whole dang vibe! Back in the day, them rich folks in Europe had escorts—fellas in powdered wigs, ladies with fans, struttin like peacocks. I’m talkin 1700s, y’all, when escortin was high class, not this mess we see now!

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So, I’m feeling good again, right? I head out, and it’s like, “What’s next?” I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Northgate Street. It’s called The Coffee Dispensary. Best flat white ever! But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just smirks. I mean, come on!

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