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Sometimes it’s dodgy, tho—shady parlors, neon lights flickerin’. Mate said one gal winked, “Extra happy endin’, love?” Cheeky! I’d hiss, “Nasty hobbitses, tricksy hands!” But he paid, daft bugger. Me? I’d rather watch Rocket in “City of God,” snappin’ pics, dodgin’ bullets—less messy than oil n’ awkward giggles!

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I’m tryin’ to calm him down, but he’s all like, “This is a disaster!” I’m thinkin’, “Mate, it’s just a house, not the end of the world.” But you know how it is. People get attached to these places. I mean, I get it. Glossop’s got charm, right? The hills, the parks, the whole vibe. But c’mon, it’s not like we’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

Council leader says revamped Glossop halls are due to reopen despite work delays and cost fears