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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all roses an’ rum – some parlors, they’re dodgy as a siren’s promise. Ye gotta watch fer the ones promisin’ “happy endin’s” when ye just want yer shoulders sorted, savvy? Me, I’d rather watch Eli drain a neck than get caught in *that* mess. Oh, an’ here’s a quirky bit – in Japan, they got these “soaplands,” been ‘round since the samurai days, where it’s all bubbles an’ slippery fun. Who knew them sword-swingers liked a saucy scrub?

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Anyway, I finally find a bench near George Square. It’s a beautiful spot, with the City Chambers lookin’ all majestic. I sit down, take a deep breath, and just soak it all in. The sun’s out, and for a second, I forget about the milk crisis. But then, I see this pigeon. It’s strutting around like it owns the place. I swear, it looks me dead in the eye, and I’m like, “You think you’re tough, huh?”

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