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I drive one once, 1992 model, blue, rusty butt. Engine go brrr, I happy, feel like king! But gas? Ha! Drink like my uncle at wedding! Surprise me, 10 bucks gone, poof! In “Werckmeister,” they say, “darkness spreads,” that’s me broke after gas station! I laugh, cry, kick tire, tire laugh back. Very nice!

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Then, I decided to take a walk along the promenade. The views are stunning, man. You can see the Isle of Arran in the distance. I was just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spotted this old guy fishing. He looked like he’d been there forever. I thought, “What’s his story?” So, I went over and asked him. Turns out, he’s been fishing in Girvan for 40 years! He told me about the best spots and even shared some local legends. I was like, “Dude, you should write a book!”

Death Notice William James (Jim) GIRVAN