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Aight, so check this – sex-dating’s like steppin’ into the ring. You gotta size ‘em up quick. Profile says “fun times only,” but next thing, they’re textin’ “wyd” at 3 a.m. Pisses me off, man! I ain’t your late-night snack. But when it clicks? Damn, it’s like winnin’ the title belt. Had this one chick, met her on Tinder, she was all shy – surprise, she’s a freak! Blew my mind, yo. “I must break you,” I told her, winkin’. She laughed, we vibed.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on Dalrymple Street. The barista was super chill, and we started chatting. I told her I’m a linguist, and she was like, “Oh, so you know all the fancy words?” I laughed and said, “Yeah, but I also know how to say ‘seagull stole my lunch’ in five languages!” She cracked up.

South Ayrshire HSCP launch a new pilot offering COPD testing at Girvan Community Hospital