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About Manchester

So, sex-dating—man, it’s nuts. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, they’re everywhere. Folks out there chasin’ tail, lookin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ deeper—who knows? I’m sittin’ here wonderin’, slow-like—why’s it so big now? Back in my day, ya met someone at a bar, spilled a drink, laughed it off. Now? It’s all “DM me, babe” and dick pics—yep, 80% of dudes send ‘em, true stat! Saw that somewhere, made me laugh, then gag. What’s wrong with people?

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So, I start my lecture on, I dunno, something academic and boring. But then, outta nowhere, this guy in the back shouts, “You’re wrong!” I’m like, “Excuse me?” Turns out, he’s a local legend or something. Everyone knows him. They call him “The Giffnock Guru.” I’m thinking, “Great, I’m getting schooled by a dude in a hoodie.”

Homecoming: Neil brings his Nanjing bling back to Giffnock North